personal journey

Titus2:3-5: All the Reasons Not to Tithe

2010-03-08T12:48:00.000-05:00

Titus2:3-5: All the Reasons Not to Tithe

Long Time No See

2009-11-02T16:30:00.003-05:00

"Long time no see" that would sum up a lot in so many ways. This blog...my faith. I wonder if ending this blog 3 years ago was somehow the wrong path to take. Maybe visiting this blog today is showing me that I need to come back and express myself.

Revisit the purity of becoming a Christian, and remind me that it wasn't always roses, and I didn't always feel this bad about it not being roses.

I don't know. But I do know that I wanted to post something right now just to say that I am here. I haven't left.

Maybe God is saying the same thing.

End Notes

2006-02-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted here in a long while. After a much consideration, I decided that I needed to keep my faith and my internal monologue as one and the same. How can you separate them really?

I'm still participating a Bible study, though I do not do the homework as diligently as I should. But I know that God loves me. He created me the way that I am. Imperfect as I am.

Who am I to complain about His work?

Thankful

2005-12-01T14:29:00.000-05:00

As I journey deeper into the fog, I become more aware that I need to hang on, and be thankful.

I am praying that I will not lose sight of the truth as my footsteps become more muffled, and my vision obscured.

Sometimes it is so easy to become overwhelmed by hurt, loss, pity, pain, regret, guilt. Roads that I know so well that my eyes are no longer needed and my feet glide perfectly over the well trodden paths.

Hang on. My small voice says. It won't be too long.

The sun will shine. And the days will pass. And the lonliness that I am experiencing is nothing more than a shadow of my own making.

I am thankful that the sun is stronger, brighter, and more powerful than my imagination could ever conceive; and the shadow will be no more. And the fog will disappear.

A Church to Call Our Own

2005-11-22T15:39:00.000-05:00

This past Sunday we were named as official members of Trinity Presbyterian Church.

It was a good thing on so many levels. But for me, the most poignant part of all was that we did it as a family.

Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy marries girl.

Together they start a life.

Thank you God for answered prayers.

Concession

2005-11-17T19:52:00.000-05:00

One of Kimi's favorite places is our church. Often, when we get into the car, she will ask "Are we going to church"?

And on those occasions, such as Sunday morning, or Wednesday evening, I can answer her with a firm "yes".

She is excited to go. I am happy to take her.

Yesterday we spent 3 hours before the evening Bible study, decorating the welcome center for the children's ministries. The girls and I had a lot of fun. My intention was to go to church, decorate, return home to get my books and have dinner, and then go back to church.

The decorating took longer than I anticipated, which would have left me only about 30 minutes to get home, make dinner, and return.

We had dinner at the church. It was very nice.

Afterwards I was going to run back home and get my books for the Bible study, as well as pick up the Mary Kay order on my table to deliver to a lady who I would see after the classes. But Kimi had other plans. She wanted to go to her classroom.

She hasn't really ever wanted to go to her classroom on a Wednesday night. She had been giving me a hard time about it for the past few weeks. However, she saw one of her teachers, and became excited, pointing him out. I immediately felt bad, not wanting to break the moment for her...since she seemed so excited.

So, when I tried putting on her jacket, she threw a royal fit. Crying and wailing that she wanted to go to her classroom.

I conceded. I had reservations about going all the way back home anyway, torn between allowing Kimi time to play with the other kids in the gym before the classes started, and braving the wintery wind (and burning up precious gas) to get my book and the Mary Kay order. I really didn't want to share, and I wanted to get this lady her order.

When the classes were starting, I handed Kimi over to her teacher and then went to my room and sat down. Then, about 2 minutes later (after explaining that I left my book at home) I see my husband at the door, delivering my books! Wow! I was really happy about that. I really couldn't get over the fact that he came home from work, and then picked up my books and brought them to me.

Then, after the class I learned the the woman whose order I wanted to pick up, didn't attend the classes anyway!

Thinking back on it, I am glad that I had reservations, and I am glad that I conceded to Kimi's protests...

God was then able to show me that my husband really does care for me, and once again He has everything under control.

Kimi's First Prayer

2005-11-10T14:24:00.000-05:00

God thank you for this food today.

Amen

Encouraged

2005-11-07T08:19:00.000-05:00

This past weekend my husband and I attended the New Connections class at the church we have been attending regularly. The class is a prerequisite to becoming members.

The class was good; there is another 4 hour session on the 19th in which more talk about the actual church itself will be covered.

I really like the church. But I like the church community even more. Every single time we have gone, we have been greeted by one person or another with a smile. Someone has always extended a greeting. Which is something that the pastor encourages because it is such a large church community that it would be easy to become just another "face in the crowd".

One of the homework assignments for the class is to fill out a "gifts" questionnaire. It helps to determine your God given gifts so that you can find your ministry within the church community. My gifts are Hospitality, Administration, and Prophecy.

It was really interesting, and from what I can see, they use these questionnaires to place people in certain areas of service within the church, if you so desire.

Then on Sunday we went to our normal church service, and the Associate Pastor talked extensively on the work that the church will be doing in the surrounding communities. I was really blown away, and encouraged.

Being a part of an active organization that helps others has been one of my personal hopes for a long time.l I have volunteered for the Red Cross in the past, and I have endeavored to do volunteer work for the Lions Club, as well as other organizations...I had never really considered church prior to becoming a Christian. And then when I was saved, the church I was attending was so stagnant.

I am happy that the church I am attending is so active with helping others. I am excited to be a part of that body of people who want to really make a difference, and not just sit in a pristine white world, ignoring the needs of others. To me, this is what church really should be about.

Alot to Pray For

2005-10-27T10:42:00.000-05:00

In answer to my prayer for more involvement with our church community, I am finding myself happily connecting with others from our church.

Right now I volunteer once a week at the church helping the Director of Children's Ministries.

I have joined a Bible study on Wednesdays.

We are attending church on Sunday regularly.

I really feel that we are getting back on track with God. There is no doubt that we strayed.

I think it was a harder transition for my husband, but he is meeting people as well, and slowly we are making Trinity our home church.

Kimi even exclaims "church church" when we pull up to the driveway.

There are a lot of nice ladies in my Bible study. Two of whom I could see myself becoming good friends with. I see myself in them, though at different stages of my life. They are both older than me, one more than the other.

Zac has really become more secure with God and church since we have started attending this church. He is identifying with some of the kids that attend, and it is good. I'm hoping that this will provide a strong foundation for all of my children.

However, now that I have become more involved, I feel that I have an even bigger responsibility of sharing His word with others, especially my friends and family. I don't feel comfortable with myself by being idle, or hiding God's influence in my life.

How ungrateful would that be, after He has given me SO MUCH.

I have a lot of prayer requests...

For my good friends T. and N. I pray that T's mother receives good results with from her surgery, and that she will experience better health, and that God will give her strength to live a healthier happier life.
For T to be able to provide for his family the way that he wants. And to find happiness in that role.
For my grandma, that she is able to move to a place that she can be happy and experience peace in these later years of her life. And that if she has not already, to come to Christ and realize that He is the only way.
For my husband who continually struggles with the politics and stress of his job. That he finds comfort in his family, and that his job continues to provide us a means to live in our home and allows me to stay home with the children until such a time that it is right for me to go back to work.
For the salvation of my friends and relatives who are not yet saved.
For the ladies in my Bible study, with their personal struggles, and for clarity throughout the study so that we may receive each of our individual messages from God and grow in His word as he intends.
For the adoption process that we are endeavoring with Kimi. I pray that Kimi's paternal father does not contest the adoption and that we are granted this opportunity to make our family a legal union.
I pray that we are given the strength and wisdom to be better stewards of all that God has blessed us with, our children, our finances, our marriage.

Bible Study: Week 1

2005-10-06T09:45:00.000-05:00

I just finished the last assignment for week one of my Bible Study. Already I feel much closer to God, knowing more about Him and how much He loves me.

I've learned that the people in the Old Testament are really not much different than myself...the relationships that they had, the responses to God that they displayed, their anger, their rebellion.

This makes the history seem so much more relevant for me. Especially since so many people say that the Bible is antiquated and cannot, could not apply to the people of today.

My feeling now, after learning about Jotham, Ahaz, Hezekiah, and Mennasah, is that the Bible is VERY relevant in today's world. The only thing that has changed are our "high places"...and even then...its not so different.

Trusting God

2005-09-30T17:46:00.000-05:00

Well, my first experience with a Bible study is going fairly well. The group is really large, but it's nice because then there are more women to get to know.

I put in a prayer request for my husband's job. I'll be staying home with the kids [after a fairly disasterous attempt at working again].

God made it pretty clear that I needed to be home for my children. If that is what He wants, I need to trust that He will provide the means to keep it that way.

Trust Trust Trust. Life would be much easier if Trust weren't such a hard thing to do.

Totally God

2005-09-18T12:23:00.000-05:00

I don't believe in coincidence.

Everything happens for a reason.

I had been invited to a Bible study via the internet a couple of weeks ago, and at first I was excited, but then I started thinking about all of my other commitments.

Then, last week at church I learned of another Bible study/ women's group. The book looked good, but I was already committed to another one. However the lady was really excited about the material, so it sparked my interest.

I decided to go to the first night of the church Bible study and see what it was like. I ended up buying the book, which basically committed me to going. They are going to take their time with it, it ends in March, because all of the attendees are busy moms.

So, I decided that I would tell the internet group that I was going to have to bow out. I wasn't ready to do two studies...and buy two books.

Then I found out that the internet study and the church study is one and the same. Beth Moore "Breaking Free".

I believe that one way or another God wanted me to do this study, He certainly didn't give me any easy way out of it, except my own laziness and fear.

Bible Study

2005-09-17T10:47:00.000-05:00

I've decided to join a Beth Moore bible study.

It takes place on Wednesday evenings during the time my children would be attending their own bible groups.

I was a little apprehensive, joining this group of women. There are probably about 40 of us in total. I had hoped for a smaller group.
My other apprehension was that I had originally wanted to join a bible study with my husband.

The study ends in March, we are taking our time; being that the group is comprised of busy women who are mothers and or work full time outside the home.

I guess I've never really been a "joiner", especially of a women's group. Sometimes I feel like an outsider in regards to other women, and I keep to myself, and my close friends because it is safe.

It might be nice to be part of a network of women who all share the same faith. I don't know....I'll have to wait and see what God has planned.

Predominantly White

2005-09-11T13:22:00.000-05:00

Today's church service was really good.

My family and I have been attending a Presbyterian, family friendly, contemporary church for the past 6 months. Alot of singing, alot of clapping, alot of crying.

I've had misgivings as to whether or not this is the church we should be attending because the entire congregation is Caucasian.

I worry that it is a safety net, unrealistic, and doesn't really portray Christ's vision for us as Christians.

Today's service focused on our responsibility to reach out to others who do not know the truth. Others meaning everyone.

Then I reminded myself that white people need saving just as much as any other ethnic group.

I should know, I was one of them.

I remember

2005-09-10T11:41:00.000-05:00

I have been struggling to remember when I was saved. Most people I talk to remember it clearly...and it is such a momentous occasion...that I felt awkward with the thought that I could not remember.

But I do.

I was saved when I was not even old enough to truly understand what it meant. All I knew is that I wanted to be loved. And I was told that Jesus loved me no matter what, for who I am.

I don't remember what age I was, somewhere around 11 years old, definitely before 6th grade.

I went to AWANA on Wednesday nights with a nice lady from down the road. I met her through my babysitter, I think my babysitter had a crush on her older son.

Anyway, I remember her face, she was always smiling and very very kind. Though the kool aid she made didn't taste very sweet.

Anyway, the significance of remembering when I was saved is this:

Satan has been working for the past 20 years to beat me down and dissuade me from my faith...and he almost succeeded. But the holy spirit was in me the whole time...I had just been in denial.

I can think upon numerous occassions that God was knocking on my door, keeping Himself in my thoughts, so that I couldn't totally ignore him...until one day when I would finally surrender.

Diverse City

2005-09-10T09:27:00.000-05:00

I usually listen to WMUZ while I'm driving. It's a local Christian radio station, and quite frankly, I am now more familiar with Christian music than I have ever thought I would be. Which is strange for someone who four years ago would not listen to Christian music if her life depended on it.

File that under the number one reason when, when I spent three months of my life homeless, I would not admit myself and Kimi to a shelter for displaced women and children...they didn't allow secular music. Yes, I am that stubborn.

So...now that I have revealed myself as either a hypocrit or convert...[or maybe a lot less foolish]

Friday morning on the way to work, I was surprised once more by the panache of the morning D.J.'s. They are sassy and sometimes shocking for Christian radio, but their style has given me new insight. For instance Christianity isn't just for white middle class suburbanites who drive minivans and drink lattes.This is the thinking that I need to counter every time I go to church, since the church I currently attend is very very white.

Friday morning they played the "Secret Stash" song. The song: Diverse City by Toby Mac. Which is every bit of funk that you could swing your hips at on a Friday morning sitting in bumper to bumper traffic.

I turned up the volume, opened the windows, and soaked in the message:

They call us Diverse City, we're colorful good
It's like a freak show in your neighborhood
So, if you wanna praise you can come on down
Cause this freak show's leaving the ground
Up, up and away, baby we don't play, maybe you thought you was done for the day

He said, she said, I said this, that you can't get away from your moment of bliss
Stirring, we'll lure you in and we'll make room for the shade of skin
Short ones, tall ones, skinny ones, bigger, love is the gun and we pullin' that trigger
So you send me and I'll send you hope in the form of a new tattoo
Mine is the shiny city on a hill and yours, of course, is the colors that fill itWe'll take you high,
we'll take you higher

Now come to the city where you can praise
If you're black, if you're white, if you're yellow or grey
In the morning, in the night, anytime of dayWhat's that place - Diverse City
With curls in your hair and braids on the side
Straight shake'em loose, just come on and ride
We're a body with parts, like you and me
Together we make diversity

You bring the heart, I'll bring the soulI'll bring the flag, you bring the pole
We'll fly it high so the whole world knows
The dream of a king 'bout to unfold
We 'bout to do this thing for realDiverse City got mass appeal
So put your hand in the hand of mine
And we'll spread this love like dandelions

After the song ended I realized that there is something integrally wrong with how I have been praising Him. Christianity isn't always a comfort zone. Church isn't a safe harbor to cling to every Sunday morning--sometimes it's dangerous and scary. Spreading the word is overcoming challenges like color of skin, and different ways of life. I had no idea that I was conforming. Now that I do realize, I am open to new possibilities. I want to be part of that Diverse City.

Romans 12:19

2005-09-04T18:24:00.000-05:00

My heart breaks for the people who have suffered through the devastation that is Katrina. People on the streets, walking past dead bodies, just as though it were a war zone. How awful.

Is it a coincidence that this happens to us and our nation mere days after the last of the Jews were evicted from Isreal, while we [as a nation] did nothing?

I wonder.

Walk with Christ

2005-09-04T18:12:00.000-05:00

No one ever said that this was going to be easy. There are so many distractions that I must overcome.

There are so many things that I intend to do in order to be a better Christian...but Satan knows me well enough to place things in my way...so that I forget, or run out of time, or just put it off until later.

So here is confession time...I have never read my Bible. I've skimmed through it, but doctrinally, I am no good. I rely on my husband for that knowledge, and that isn't right or fair.

I always intend to read my Bible...but other things get in the way. How can I walk with Him if I don't even know what He is saying?

Another area of weakness is my inability to really talk to people about Jesus. I can spout all sorts of good news about the other parts of my life...but Jesus, the best news of all, I have a difficult time expressing.

Fear.

That's really what it is. I'm still at that point where I feel bringing Jesus up in conversation [except to other Christians] may categorize me negatively.

I'm so weak.

Father God in Heaven, please use me. Guide me for Your purpose, and save me from the distractions of the world. Let my path be the one You choose, let the words I speak convey Your love. Give me strength to push aside my selfish desires. Let me learn love, and not practice vengeance.

In Jesus' name I pray...
Amen

Daily Bread

2005-08-14T10:56:00.000-05:00

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.

Sometimes I find fault with everything and everyone. I get wrapped up in how someone else makes me feel, that I do not see how my own actions are part of the problem.

Practicing love is not easy. It means setting aside my selfish desire to have someone behave a certain way for my benefit, and doing the same for them. A tough task indeed.

There are so many things that I need to be aware of to be a better Christian, but even just a better person. I let relationships fall to the wayside, and I can be pretty unforgiving at times.

Expecting others to give me special consideration, without doing the same in return. I need to do less reflecting on this and more doing something to change it.

I would not criticize the one who works,
The one who listens to God's Word and heeds;
But I would criticize myself, dear Lord,
Confess to You my faithless words and deeds. -Hess

Daily Bread

2005-08-12T13:52:00.000-05:00

Ecclesiastes 2:20 I turned my heart and despaired of all the labor in which I had toiled under the sun.

Sometimes I feel that it is all work work work, with no end in sight. I know that when I die there will be and end of these trials.

I become depressed rather easily with the state of things around me. It is something that I battle all of the time, with prayer and a sense of humor [I hope].

Today I feel so overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done. I know that I need to turn to God for help more often with these thoughts...I can't do this all on my own. I'm so thankful that I do not have to.

Christian, are you disappointed
With the world and all around?
Turn your eyes from earth to heaven,
Where true joys may be found. -Anonymous

Daily Bread

2005-08-10T11:33:00.000-05:00

Mathew 6:25 Do not worry about your life.

This past weekend gave me plenty of reasons to worry. I worried about my children as I was away from them. I worried that our friends would not have a good time on the trip that we had planned. I worried that we would spend too much. Then I begin to cry or over react...

Thankfully, I read this on Saturday morning before we drove to Ohio. I prayed about my worries, and then gave them to God.

The trip was a success. Had I spent the entire weekend worrying I would have missed out on everything.

I need to apply this to everything in my life. It isn't easy, because I have always felt I should cover all of the bases with my worrying, that way I cannot be taken by surprise. But the only thing that does for me is give me gray hair, and keeps me from joy. I've experienced many trials, and I know that there will be many more...I have come to accept this...and I hope that in all things I can handle my trials with grace. Perhaps the remembering that He is here with me through it all will give me grace as well as peace.

Never a trial that He is not there,
Never a burden that He does not bear;
Never a sorrow that He does not share-
Moment by moment, I'm under his care. -Whittle

Daily Bread

2005-08-08T21:34:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 5:3-4 All uncleanness or covetousnness, let it not even be named among you, neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting.

My husband and I have 'off' senses of humor. Sometimes I wonder/ worry [though I shouldn't worry], that this is an ill representation of Christianity...to have our senses of humor. But at the same time, I remember that we are still human. We laugh about humanity, and the craziness of it all. And mostly about how many people take themselves way too seriously.

That is not to say that we should make fun of others, or their situations. I think that there is a fine line between humor and hurt. And I know that this is something that my husband and I need to watch out for, otherwise our senses of humor may turn around and make us look more than foolish. Hypocritical in fact.

I just think that we, as Christians need to be careful of what we find humor in. I know that it is something I am actively working on. My thought of late that is if it is considered a sin...then it isn't worth joking about.
That criteria has been serving me well so far.

However, being human...and all of our frailties...definitely worth making light of...otherwise we would be depressed all the time.

Give us a sense of humor, Lord,
Give us the grace to laugh and smile;
But check our lips from needless jest
That what we speak may be worthwhile. -Anonymous

Daily Bread

2005-08-05T23:33:00.000-05:00

Mathew 6:25 Do not worry about your life.

I really needed to read this verse for today...
I leave in a few hours for a short road trip. But every time I plan a trip, and my kids are left behind, I worry incessantly that something terrible will happen. To me, to them...it doesn't matter. I just worry.

I run down a list of "what ifs" that stunt my ability to enjoy the very reason why I am 'getting away'.

When I took a flight to Louisville 2 years ago, I was a basket case. I denied myself an overseas trip because of those 'what ifs'.

Here is a 'what if' I have never considered...What if I hand all my worries to God? I know that He has it all under control...so no matter if I worry or not, it whatever will be, will be.

Never trial that He is not there,
Never a burden that He does not bear;
Never a sorrow that He does not share-
Moment by moment, I'm under His care. -Whittle

Daily Bread

2005-08-03T08:03:00.000-05:00

Jeremiah 2:5 What injustice have your fathers found in Me, that they have gone far from Me, have followed idols, and have become idolaters?

It is amazing to me that the commandmant "Thou shalt not have any gods before me" and "Thou shalt not make false idols", are highly overlooked. And what I mean by that is we don't consider our every day obsessions a transgression against these commandments.
How many times have I placed my hobbies, or my desires above God? When we give more regard to movie stars, music bands, book collections, soft drinks, chocolate...these are all forms of idolatry.

Disagree?

I just have to think back on how many times I have obsessed over getting my next Coca Cola or chocolate fix, had I replaced those thoughts with thoughts of God and prayer, I am almost positive that I would be a lot healthier [physically and spiritually] than I am now.

Unless we worship only God
Our lives cannot be truly free;
For we were made for Him alone--
All else is idolatry. -D. De Haan

Daily Bread

2005-08-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

Luke 15:21 Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.

My husband and I have practiced saying "I'm sorry", early on in our relationship. There have been plenty of things to be sorry for. However, I know that in truth, he has usually been the one to apologize first.

Our apologies are usually sincere. I can't recall a time when they haven't been. And to be honest, this has helped us to not hold on to the hurts. If we ask for forgiveness, and it is granted, then there should be nothing else to hold on to.

A heartfelt apology can't change the past, but it can brighten the future. -Anonymous

Daily Bread

2005-08-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

Jeremiah 15:16 Your words were found, and I ate them, and Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart.

I definitely need to practice taking my medicine more often. In it I will find strength to ward off the illnesses of sin and self doubt.

This past weekend I neglected to turn to God for council, and in retrospect I know that if I had...we may have been able to salvage a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

God's Word brings health and healling
To every sin-sick soul,
But we must take and heed it
Before we can be whole -D.De Haan

Daily Bread

2005-07-30T10:45:00.000-05:00

Lamentations 3:22 Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed.

I've seen many trials in my life. I am not old, but sometimes I feel that I have experienced more than I should have. Prior to being saved I endured many hardships, disappointments, and abuses. I had always felt alone, that no one understood me, and I was always reaching out, searching for someone who would just care enough to bring me some peace. Let me know that everything would be okay.

Counsellors were no good, friends were empathetic but very limited...everyone has thier own trials. I wasn't consoled. Family had always fallen short, because much of my grief was centered around those who were suppose to protect me as a child. So headlong, forged through darkness, angst, and discontentment.

However, after being saved I have found that my perspective on hard times has shifted. When things become very difficult, almost unbearably hard to deal with, I am consoled that God has everything under control. And He is with me through every step of the way. I found that this is the friendship I had been searching for all along, and amazingly, He was with me. I just couldn't see.

My sheep I know, they are My own,
I leave them not in trials alone;
I wil be with them to the end--
Their hope, thier joy, their dearest Friend. -Anonymous

Daily Bread

2005-07-29T13:28:00.000-05:00

1 Corinthians 10:12 Let him who tinks he stands take heed lest he fall.

How oblivious I walk through life, never realizing that I take so much for granted. And it only takes one careless word from a friend to bring me down...and I realize that Satan did it again. He caught me unshielded. And had I put faith in Jesus I would not have given that careless word a second thought.

Take the name of Jesus ever
As a shield from every snare;
If temptations round you gather,
Breathe that holy name in prayer. -Baxter

Daily Bread

2005-07-28T15:21:00.000-05:00

Psalm 103:2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.

Blessings money can't buy:
1. Savior
2. husband
3. children
4. family
5. friends
6. laughter
7. sunshine
8. senses
9. music
10. dance
11. butterflies
12. birds
13. Spring/ Autumn
14. the sound of the wind
15. imagination
16. joy and sorrow
17. forgiveness
18. moonlight
19. health
20. life

Every morning as we rise,
God's new mercies greet our eyes;
And when twilight shadows fall,
Evening blessings brighten all. -Anonymous

Daily Bread

2005-07-27T09:16:00.000-05:00

Mathew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart.

My husband often worries about his job. And today I pray that he will find encouragement in the Lord. That he will seek Jesus upon every turn and step. God has every path laid out for him and there is no cause to spend time and energy worrying. I pray that he remembers that with each disappointment God is there with him every step of the way.

I am reminded of the commercial where the man is leaving for an interview, and there is a group of people outside of his home cheering him on, as well as a mascot. The commercial cracks Caleb up every time he sees it. I will remind him that he has it better than that. Instead of bleachers full of people, and a mascot that looks like him, he has God.

Come heavy-laden, weary one,
Come unto Christ for rest;
Come lay your every burden down,
And lean upon His breast. -Anonymous

Count My Blessings

2005-07-19T12:47:00.000-05:00

Today has really stretched me thin on thankfulness, so I figured that it must be an indication I should really sit down and figure out what is good in my life, so that I cannot focus on the negative.

1. I am thankful for my health and the health of my family and friends.
2. I am thankful that we have a place to live and utilities.
3. I am thankful for the fact that we have food. This past winter there were times that we did not.
4. I am thankful that we have health insurance.
5. I am thankful for Caleb's job.
6. I am thankful for my jobs and opportunities.
7. I am thankful that I could tell my mom "I love you" before she left.
8. I am thankful for my children.
9. I am thankful for my friends.
10. I am thankful that I have this time to make things better than they are right now.

And most of all...

I am thankful for Jesus Christ my savior who died on the cross so that my sins could be washed away...and allow me the chance to be better than I am. So that when I do complain about how life isn't easy or as I would want it to be, I can be humbled knowing that it could be so much worse. So much more dark. And I could be completely lost rather than just confused.

Neverending Story

2005-07-12T13:56:00.000-05:00

Well, yesteday concluded my "40-day" journey through The Purpose Driven Life.

It was a good book, and right now I am looking at it as a work book of sorts. There are a lot of areas that I really need to strengthen and I will be praying for the wisdom and guidance to make those changes.

Of the things that I have really learned from reading the book is the need to have Christian fellowship. I have always been somewhat of an island. Never letting anyone get too close. However, as I read the book, I started to long for fellowship with other Christians...to share my faith, and to bond, and become stronger in my faith because of the unity of shared faith.

One of our close friends has recently begun his own journey towards living a Christ-like life. And this is such an awesome experience for him, and for us. For one, he and I share the same perspective as being born again after having made some terrible decisions in our lives respectively...so it is nice to speak with someone who knows where I am coming from...and who I feel I can truly help in weeding out the things that stumped me when I was at that point. For another reason, it is Caleb's best friend...so I am sure that this will only prove to strengthen their friendship...it's really an amazing thing to witness.

It's one thing to yearn that all of the people you love would be able to see the truth, and that Jesus is the only way in which you can be saved. It is another to experience when the ones you love DO begin to see, and share in the joy of the Good News. It is a mixture of relief, and joy.

Another one that took me by surprise is my mother and her husband. In a way, this finally gives us something that we can share, that isn't steeped in hard feelings, or hurtful memories. I believe that we may finally have something to build on...something everlasting.

It is nice to know that even though we spent 3 decades hashing out our differences in this life...we will have the next life to be better to each other than we ever could be here on earth.

The book? It was good. Though some of it seemed a little too concerned about marketing future purchases...however I do think that 90% of the book has honest merit. And I will use that portion of it and apply it to my life so that I can grow as a Christian.

Day 40

2005-07-11T19:05:00.000-05:00

Chapter Forty: Living with Purpose

Living on purpose is the only way to really live. Everything else is just existing. -Rick Warren

It's easy to drift away from what matters most and slowly get off course. To prevent this, you should develop a purpose statment for your life and then review it regularly. -Rick Warren

What is a Purpose Statement?

It's a statement that summarizes God's purpose for your life.
It's a statement that points the direction of your life.
It's a statement that defines "success" for you.
It's a statement that clarifies your roles.
It's a statement that expresses your shape.

5 questions to consider as I develop my statement--

What will be the center of my life?

Christ

What will be the character of my life?
What will be the contribution of my life?
What will be the communication of my life?
What will be the community of my life?

God is still looking for people to use. -Rick Warren

Will you be a person God can use for his purposes? Will you serve God's purpose in your generation? -Rick Warren

Point to Ponder: Living with purpose is the only way to really live.

Verse to Remember: Acts 13:36 For David...served the purpose of God in his own generation. Question to Consider: When will I take the time to write down my ansers to life's five great questions? When will I put my purpose on paper?

Wow...it seems such a daunting task. To sum up who I am and what I should be doing. However, if gone undone...how much time will pass in the haze of life--directionless? I know that if I don't start soon...time will fill in the gaps and the gaps shall grow larger...and my thoughts on this will grow even more distant. How much of a priority is this to me? Honestly, I want to work on the other tasks before beginning this one. For this I will have to pray for guidance.

Day 39

2005-07-07T17:06:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Balancing Your Life

Your life is a pentathalon of five purposes, which you must keep in balance:

1. You were planned for God's pleasure, so your purpose is to love God through worship.

2. You were shaped for serving, so your purpose is to show love for others through ministry.

3. You were made for a mission, so your purpose is to share God's message through evangilism.

4. You were formed for God's family, so your purpose is to identify with his church through fellowship.

5. You were created to become like Christ, so your purpose is to grow to maturity through disciplship.

-Rick Warren

You can keep your life balanced and on track by joining a small group for accountability, by regularly evaluating your spiritual helath, by recording your progress in a personal journal, and by passing on what you learn to others. -Rick Warren

Jesus modeled a purpose-driving life, and he taught others how to live it, too. That was the "work" that brought the glory to God.

Today God calls each of us to the same work. Not only does he want us to help others do the same. God wants us to introduce people to Christ, bring them into his fellowship, help them grow to maturity and discover their place of service, and then send them out to reach others, too.

This is what purpose-driven living is all about. Regardless of your age, the rest of your life can be the best of your life, and you can start living on purpose today. -Rick Warren

I find it amazing how well this point hits home. I often become discouraged over the sins I have committed, and the mistakes I have made, but God allows me to pick myself up and start again...and to do better with the knowledge gained from my mistakes. No matter how old I get, I can start again. I think of all the years I wasted in denial of my creator and I wonder what could have been made of my life had I listened to the truth earlier on. But that doesn't actually matter...because my experiences were explicitly for me so that I could come to Christ at the precise moment that I did...so that I could read this book and gain insight as to what to do with what I know now.

Point to Ponder: Blessed are the balanced.

Verse to Remember: Ephesians 5:15 Live life with a due sense of responsibility, not as those who do not know the meaning of life but as those who do.

Question to Consider: Which o fthe four activities will I begin in order to stay on track and balance God's purpose for my life?

I have already begun to write my progress...part of it is this blog. I am hopefully sharing my experience with others..though I don't know if very many people read this journal or not. And I am starting to form a small group to meet at my home once every other week for accountability. I think that I evaluate myself often, but I know that I should do so more often. I suppose that I need to just be diligent in all activities and form lasting habits.

Day 38

2005-07-06T20:05:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Becoming a World Class Christian

Worldly Christians look to God primarily for personal fulfillment. They are saved, but self centered. -Rick Warren

Admittedly, this is the type of Christian I am. I pray for my friends, family, myself...primarily those I know and see...for their happiness and health. But I have not extended my prayers or actions beyond this.

How to think like a World-Class Christian:

1. Shift from self-centered thinking to other-centered thinking.
2. Shift from local thinking to global thinking.
3. Shift from "here and now" thinking to eternal thinking.
4. Shift from thinking of excuses to thinking of creative ways to fulfill your commission.

Many people have missed God's plan for their lives because they have never even asked God if he wanted them to serve as a missionary somewhere. -Rick Warren

I am completely open to the idea of serving as a missionary somewhere. I have prayed about this, and while I am intrigued and excited at the possibility, I know that mission work needs to be done here as well. I hope some day that the opportunity to be a missionary will present itself.

If you want to be like Jesus, you must have a heart for the whole world. You can't be satisfied with just your family and friends coming to Christ. -Rick Warren

I know that this is true...and that fact that some of my friends have not come to Christ worried me...saddens me.

Point to Ponder: The Great Commission is MY commission.

Verse to Remember: Psalm 67:2 Send us around the world with the news of your saving power and your eternal plan for all mankind.

Question to Consider: What steps can I take to prepare to go on a short-term missions experience in the next year?

I can inquire with my church on whether there are any opportunities. In fact, I have already...but my main 'excuse' is lack of finances. I really feel that if God wants me to go, he will present the opportunity to me...it will fall into place. Right now is not the right time--of course this blog is an opportunity for me to reach people far away as well. I hope that I am.

Day 37

2005-06-30T12:42:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Sharing Your Life Message

Your life message has four parts to it:

Your testimony: The story of how you began a relationship with Jesus.
Your life lessons: The most important lessons God has taught you.
Your godly passions: The issues God shaped you to care about most.
The Good News: The message of salvation.
-Rick Warren

I am currently working on my testimony...writing down the entire experience so that I may share it with others.

You may not be a Bible scholar, but you are the authority on your life, and it is hard to argue with personal experience. -Rick Warren

I really feel that this is the biggest road block that I have encountered when asked about my faith and 'proving' my faith to a non Christian. I can share my story, that's no problem. However, I am not a Bible scholar. I am still learning.

The vest way to 'be ready' [to share your testimony] is to write out your testimony and then memorize the main points. Divide it into four parts:

1. What my life was like before I met Jesus
2. How I realized I needed Jesus
3. How I committed my life to Jesus
4. The difference Jesus made in my life

Mature people develop the habit of extracting lessons from everyday experiences. -Rick Warren

This is a habit I am developing. It is definitely faith based...believing that triumphs and trials are all a part of God's plan to shape my life.

God gives some people a godly passion to champion a cause. It's often a problem they personally experienced such as abuse, addiction, infertility, depression, a disease, or some other difficulty. Sometimes God gives people a passion to speak up for a group of others who can't speak for themselves: the unborn, the persecuted, the poor, the imprisoned, the mistreated, the disadvantaged, and those who are denied justice. The Bible is filled with commands to defend the defenseless. -Rick Warren

I've found that one of my greatest passions is in defense of the unborn, and young children in general.

God never made a person he didn't love. -Rick Warren

I think that simple statement is very important for people to hear over and over again. Someone may be in despair, or deny God, or be angry at God, or be in denial of God...but the fact remains no matter where a person is at in their life, in their faith [or lack thereof] God still loves them regardless.

Point to Ponder: God wants to say something to the world through me.

Verse to Remember: 1 Peter 3:15b-16 Be ready at all times to answer anyone who asks you to explain the hope you have in you, but do it with gentleness and respect.

Question to Consider: As I reflect on my personal story, who does God want me to share it with?

Women who feel that they are without worth. Especially single mothers.

Day 36

2005-06-28T13:06:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-Six: Made for a Mission

God is at work in the world, and he wants you to join him. This assignment is called your mission. God wants you to have both a ministry in the Body of Christ and a mission in the world. Your ministry is service to believers, and your mission is your service to unbelievers. -Rick Warren

I really appreciate this clarification. It helps me to know the guidelines of my relationships between believers and unbelievers...

Your mission is a continuation of Jesus' mission on earth.

Your mission is a wonderful privilege.

Telling others how they can have eternal life is the greatest thing you can do for them.

Your mission has eternal siginificance.

Your mission gives your life meaning.

God's timetable for history's conclusion is connected to the completion of our commission.

To fulfill your mission will require that you abandon your agenda and accept God's agenda for your life. -Rick Warren

This is one of the hardest commands that God makes, because we are all innately self centered.

Point to Ponder: I was made for a mission.

Verse to Remember: Mathew 28:19-20
Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Question to Consider: What fears have kept me from fulfilling the mission God made me to accomplish? What keeps me from telling others the Good News?

I think that the biggest fear is rejection. The friends that I have that aren't Christian, or are "non practicing" Christians may not be open to hearing how Jesus is the way the truth and the light. Then what? They stop being friends? I don't know. I have already experienced how my faith can alienate me from those that I care about. I've thought about why that is. Of course...would this turn over be the path to leading me to Christian friendships that would strengthen my faith?

Day 35

2005-06-22T17:58:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-Five: God's Power in Your Weakness

The Bible is filled with examples of how God loves to use imperfect, ordinary people to do extraordinary things in spite of their weaknesses. -Rick Warren

How can you not love a God who would never expect perfection?

Our weaknesses encourage fellowship between believers. While strength breeds an independent spirit, our limitations show how much we need each other. -Rick Warren

I have spent most of my life trying to be independent, self sufficient. But always hitting a wall that states I cannot do it on my own. Eventually I end up in a circumstance that requires me to reach out and ask for help. Acknowledging, accepting my weaknesses has lead me to more friends than if I were to do it all on my own.

When you reveal your failures, feelings, frustrations, and fears you risk rejection. But the benefits are worth the risk. -Rick Warren

I have found that when I am in turmoil and I let others know that I am hurting, that is when I know who my friends are. They are the ones who call and ask how I am doing. They send cards, or emails and check up on me. They step forward...while others step back. Maybe they step back out of embarrassment for me...since I have been so open they may not know what to do or say. It makes others uncomfortable to hear about bad times. I find that really unfortunate...and something that I have had to work on over the years, being able to hold out my hand and offer it to someone who is hurting, even if it infringes on my own comfort level. Letting another person be weak. And be there for them because of their weaknesses not only for thier strengths.

The most essential quality for leadership is not perfection, but credibility. -Rick Warren

Considering my past...it may be a good thing that I did not carry many friends across the bridge from then to now. I have had to work hard at building my credibility. I know that I was wholly undependable at one point. And I know that I still need to work at this--because I am essentially selfish. However, I want to be trustworthy. Now, that I am here for a while, with no intent to up and move. My credibility with the people I know, and the people I will know is very important.

Point to Ponder: God works best when I admit my weakness.

Verse to Remember: 2 Corinthians 12:9a My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.

Question to Consider: Am I limiting God's power in my life by trying to hide in my weaknesses? What do I need to be honest about in order to help others?

One of my most recent acknowledgements of weakness was to my husband in regards to my spending habits--and how they are attached to depression. I do not want to hurt my family by these spending splurges. So I needed to admit to him that it is a problem. And that I need help and prayer to find other ways to deal with my anxieties. It was a great relief to tell him...but it will be a long road still in overcoming this.

Yes, I was trying to hide this weakness for a long time...but it became too great.

Day 34

2005-06-21T20:09:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-Four: Thinking Like a Servant

Servants think more about others than about themselves.

When we stop focusing on our own needs, we become aware of the needs around us. -Rick Warren

How true is this. I know that I get so caught up in me me me. Sometimes I have to kick myself and remember that there is a whole world of people around me with needs of their own.

Servants think like stewards now owners.

Money has the greatest potential to replace God in your life. More people are sidetracked from serving by materialism than by anything else. -Rick Warren

Other than the occasional depression driven splurge, I have no problem giving up things, or not having things, or not having money to buy things. I have become less interested in labels, and impressing others with my 'stuff'. Although I am not sure if I would be so quick to say this about the things that make life comfortable right now...I know that I am very blessed.

Servants thing about their work, not what others are doing.

Competition between God's servants is illogical for many reasons: We're all on the same team; our goal is to make God look good, not ourselves; we've been given different assignments; and we're uniquely shaped. -Rick Warren

It is interesting that I spent most of my life comparing myselves to others...setting myself to a standard that didn't exist. I am not like anyone else, therefore how can I compare myself?

Servants base their identity on Christ.

They willingly accept jobs that insecure people would consider "beneath" them. -Rick Warren

In this I have no problem. I often find myself doing the work that others don't want to do.

Servants think of ministry as an opportunity, not an obligation.

They enjoy helping people, meeting needs, and doing ministry. -Rick Warren

I do enjoy helping people, but often find that only if it doesn't infringe on my own time. This is something I need to work on. God's ministry is often not convenient.

Point to Ponder: To be a servant I must think like a servant.

Verse to Remember: Philipians 2:5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

Question to Consider: Am I usually more concerned about being served or finding ways to serve others?

In general I am looking for ways to help others. Though I admit that I only helf if it is convenient, or within my time constraints. If I am not exerting myself too much then I help. Or if it is mutually beneficial. I used to be more charitable with my time. But time is very valuable. I need to rethink how I am spending it and on whom.

Day 33

2005-06-17T17:39:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-three: How Real Servants Act

While knowing your shape is important for serving God, having the heart of a servant is een more important. -Rick Warren

It is easy to get wrapped up in looking at how other people get recognition for their good works...to be humble is difficult. I've often been resentful because a lot I do goes unnoticed...but then that really negates the reason why I do things for others.

Are you available to God anytime? Can he mess up your plans without you becoming resentful? As a servant, you don't get to pick and choose when or where you will serve. Being a servant means giving up the right to control your schedule and allowing God to interrupt it whenever he needs to. -Rick Warren

This is hard. I am generally a very busy person. Something I am trying to change. I don't want to be so busy that I can't see the things that God puts before me. I fill my time with too much, and I am probably missing opportunities to serve God left and right.

Servants dont' make excuses, procrastinate, or wait for better circumstances. -Rick Warren

If ever a statement about myself were more true...I know I missed an opportunity last night to go to a blood drive, but I didn't because the timing was inconvenient. A lazy excuse because I was scared to do it.

Servants finish their tasks, fulfill their responsibilities, keep their promises, and complete their committments. They don't leave a job half undone, and they don't quit when they get discouraged. They are trustworthy and dependable. -Rick Warren

My biggest discouragement has been my coursework this past month. I wanted to quit so badly, but I didn't. I just couldn't bring myself to get out of that obligation.

Self promotion and servanthood dont' mix. Real servants don't serve for the approval or applause of others. They live for an audience of One. -Rick Warren

This is difficult. Sometimes it is nice to be recognized by others. It is a form of acceptance that I often strive for. To be needed, liked, approved of...

Point to Ponder: I serve God by serving others.

Verse to Remember: Mathew 10:42 If you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.

Question to Consider: Which of the six characteristics of real servants offers the greatest challenge to me?

I'd have to say that the two greatest challenges are being available and doing the best with what I have.

Day 32

2005-06-16T14:30:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-two: Using What God Gave You

The best way to discover your gifts and abilities is to experiment with different areas of service. -Rick Warren

Experimenting...I certainly have done a lot of that. I have had at least 20 different jobs, moved several times, and became involved in many different activities...I'm still experimenting.

When it doesn't work out, call it an 'experiment', not a failure. You will eventually know what you're good at. -Rick Warren

Thankfully there is no age limit on this...

Part of accepting your shape is recognizing your limitations. Nobody is good at everything, and no one is called to be everything. -Rick Warren

This is sometimes hard to accept, especially when it seems so much rides on us to be good at many things, wear different hats. I was having a hard time this past week accepting that I am not good at accounting. Something I know...but still, my grade suffers because of this.

Extracting the lessons from your experiences takes time. I recommend that you take an entire weekend for a life review retreat, where you pause to see how God has worked in the various defining moments of your life and consider how he wants to use those lessons to help others. -Rick Warren

I like the sound of this...time to really think about my life, where I am at and what I will do with the abilities that God has given me...

In Heaven we are going to serve God forever. Right now, we can prepare for that eternal service by practicing on earth. -Rick Warren

Practice makes perfect....right?

Point to Ponder: God deserves my best

Verse to Remember: 2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

Question to Consider: How can I make the best use of what God has given me?

By using it to serve others...to teach how God has made a difference in my life through the experiences that I have had...

Day 31

2005-06-15T13:32:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty-One: Understanding Your Shape

I found this chapter interesting, considering my responses to yesterday's chapter...

One of the common excuses people give for not serving is "I just don't have any abilities to offer." This is ludicrous. YOu have dozens, probably hundreds of untapped, unrecognized, and unused abilites that are lying dormant inside you. -Rick Warren

Okay okay...so what are MY abilities? I am getting a grasp of what I like to do...but what am I good at??

In determining your shape for seving God, you should examine at least six kinds of experiences from your past:

1. Family experiences
2. Educational experiences
3. Vocational experiences
4. Spiritual experiences
5. Ministry experiences
6. Painful experiences

God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others. -Rick Warren

I agree that painful experiences, harbored inside do little to no good for anyone-especially yourself. Growing past the experience requires helping others who are going through the same conflicts.

Point to Ponder: Nobody else can be me.

Verse to Remember: 1 Peter 4:10 God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings.

Question to Consider: What God-given ability or personal experience can I offer to my church?

I am actually pretty good at organizing events. I would love to work on a committee to organize a charitable event--something that I have done in the past. I worked for the American Red Cross, and I also helped to organize two food drives for the needy during the holidays.

I can also offer a ministry to women who are considering abortion. Or who have been the victim of rape.

Day 30

2005-06-14T13:32:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirty: Shaped for Serving God

I have been waiting a while for this chapter. I really want to gain some insight as to what God wants me to do with my talents. More specifically...how do I figure out what my talents are...

God never wastes anything. He would not give you abilities, interests, gifts, personality, and life experiences unless he intended to use them for his glory. By identifying and understanding these factors you can discover God's will for your life. -Rick Warren

I sometimes feel overwhelmed because I seem to have too many interests...I can't pinpoint one thing that I really love to do.

Your spiritual gifts were not given for your onw benefit but for the benefit of others, just as other people were given gifts for your benefit. -Rick Warren

My question remains, what gifts do I have that benefit others?!
Whenever we forget these basic truths about gifts, it always causes trouble in the church. Two common problems are "gift envy" and "gift projection". The first occurs when we compare our gifts with others', feel dissatisfied with what God gave us, and become resentful and jealous of how God uses others. -Rick Warren

How many times have I felt so inadequate and small because I cannot sing? To the point of stinging tears during a church service because my voice does not sound beautiful. My hands do not play the piano, and I am not called to sing. How many times have I felt resentment because I feel that there is no place for someone like me...because I don't sing, act, or play an instrument. And those are the talents that everyone acknowledges.

How do you nkow when you are serving God from your heart? The first tell tale sign is enthusiasm. When you are doing what you love to do, no one has to motivate you or challenge you or check up on you. -Rick Warren

I wish I knew...

When you don't have a heart for what you're doing, you are easily discouraged. -Rick Warren

This can easily be stated for most of my employment. The only thing I truly liked doing was teaching CPR and First Aid through the American Red Cross and volunteering--and white water rafting...see what I mean?

Point to Ponder: I was shaped for serving God

Verse to Remember: 1 Corinthians 12:6 God works thorugh different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all.

Question to Consider: In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?

Right now I honestly don't know...I mean, I am 33 years old and I still do not know what my "talents" are. I don't know what I love to do. I don't spend time thinking about what it is I like to do, I just live life and it seems to happen around me. Whatever comes my way, that is what I do. I haven't ever chosen to do something because I loved to do it. Most of my decisions have been based on what has to be done.

Day 29

2005-06-04T19:42:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty-nine: Accepting Your Assignment

You were created to add to life on earth, not just take from it. God wants you to give something back. This is God's fourth purpose for your life, and it is called your "ministry", or service. -Rick Warren

Being a Christian is not easy work...and starts the moment you are saved...

Another term for serving God that's misunderstood by most people is the word "ministry". When most people hear "ministry" they think of pastors, priests, and professional clergy, but God says every member of his family is a minister. In the Bible the words servant and minister are synonyms, as are service and ministry. -Rick Warren

I think that this is a difficult concept for many Christians. They feel that the responsibility is on the pastor's shoulders, when in fact it is all of our responsibility to minister.

One day God will compare how much time and energy we spent on ourselves compared with what we invested in serving others. At that point, all our excuses for self-centeredness will sound hollow. -Rick Warren

Recently a friend of mine imparted a great wisdom to me...which I find interesting that it goes right along with what I have read today..."If you cannot do, help the ones who can". I had never thought of doing this, to be honest. I have the inclination to always want to be the one who is doing...never to be behind the scenes. This has caused me a lot of heartache..and is something that I need to let go.

Point to Ponder: Service is not optional.

Verse to Remember: Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God perpared in advance for us to do.

Question to Consider: What is holding me back from accepting God's call to serve him?

The only thing I can think of that would be holding me back is my own pride.

Day 28

2005-05-31T15:49:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty-eight: It Takes Time

Today's chapter was really good, I liked the fact that it spoke on how it takes time to mature in our faith-in becoming Christ-like. I have been expecting some great transformation within myself, as I struggle each day with some of the same old temptations...habits..etc. Knowing that I am not going to experience an overnight miraculous change makes me less anxious.

Today we are obsessed with speed, but God is more interested in strength and stability than swiftness. We want the quick fix, the shortcut, the on-the-spot solution. We want a sermon, a seminar, or an experience that will instantly resolve all problems, remove all temptation, and release us from all growing pains. But real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful or moving. Growth is gradual. -Rick Warren

The concept is so simple...yet I have been guilty on many occasions of belieivng that some experience I have had has significantly changed me, when in a few months or years I am back to my "old self" again. I do know that over the past 3 years I have changed, but it was not an overnight thing. And there are people in my life who still see me as a mixed up teenager. I wonder if they are willing to know me now.

There is only one way to develop the habits of a Christlike character; you must practice them--and that takes time. -Rick Warren

I realize with this statment that in forming my habits, I also have to wait for others to realize that is who I am now...

Write down the insights and life lessons God teaches you about him, about yourself, about life, relationships, and everything else. Record these so you can review and remember them and pass them on to the next generation. -Rick Warren

I am a big fan of journaling these days...I hope to pass something along to my children of myself for when I am gone. More importantly I want to pass on to them my faith...something that in retrospect would have been a wonderful gift to myself as a child. This is also interesting because the next Bible study at my church is about journaling...perhaps God is telling me something?

Point to Ponder: There are no shortcuts to maturity.

Verse to Remember: Philippians 1:6 God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.

Question to Consider: In what area of my spiritual growth do I need to be more patient and persistent?

I need to be much more kind to those I love--especially my immediate family. They see the very worst of me every day, and I often feel like I am the furthest thing from being Christlike. I need to practice more patience with my children and my husband...a habit that really needs to be formed. And I need to also let go of thinking that the "world" views me as a bad person. I know I am not who I used to be, but I am far from who I want to be. I know that those who really love me will let me journey to that point...

Day 27

2005-05-23T16:22:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty-seven: Defeating Temptation

With every passing chapter I realize that my distractions have been keeping me from reading this information. Information that I need in order to grow closer in Christ. Something that Satan doesn't want me to do...

Every time you try to block out a thought, you drive it deeper into memory. -Rick Warren

Since temptation always begins with a thought, the quickest way to neutralize its allure is to turn your attention to something else. Don't fight the thought, just change the channel of your mind and get interested in another idea. This is the first step in defeating temptation. -Rick Warren

It is very true that the more I resolve to change something, or not think of something...the more I think of it. The phrase "resistence is futile" can mean so much more now...

Some temptations are only overcome with the help of a partner who prays for you, encourages you, and holds you accountable. -Rick Warren

The reason we hide our faults is pride. We want others to think we have evertying "under control." The truth is, whatever you can't talk about is already out of control in your life: problems with your finance, marriage, kids, thoughts, sexuality, secret habits or anything else. -Rick Warren

I generally find that if something is difficult to talk about it is because I am embarrassed...which is pride based...and most often it is something that is hurting me deeply.

You can't bluff Satan with logic or opinion, but you can use the weapon that makes him tremble--the truth of God. This is why memorizing Scripture is essential to defeating temptation. -Rick Warren

It is frightening to me that Satan is real. I mean...pure evil willing and ready to overcome me and keep me from God. Thankfully God gave us everything we need to know to thwart Satan's plans.

Don't carelessly place yurself in tempting situations. Avoid them. Remember that it is easier to stay out of temptation than to get out of it. -Rick Warren

I wish that I could give this advice out to everyone. I mean...I know people who purposely seek out temptation, as though they thrive on the thrill of possibility. It is frightening to see them walk on the edge like that when so much could be at stake. It is even more frightening because I used to do the same thing...and I know where I could be now had it not been for grace.

Point to Ponder: There is always a way out.

Verse to Remember: 1 Corinthians 10:13b God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.

Question to Consider: Who could I ask to be a spiritual partner to help me defeat a persistent temptation by praying for me?

I think that this is the hardest question that could be asked of me right now. I really don't know. I really want to be a part of a small bible study group...but my church has not contacted me back yet on this. I really want to be in touch with more Christians, and have a community with them, but I really don't know where to begin...

Day 26

2005-05-20T16:15:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty-six: Growing Through Temptation

God develops the fruit of the Spirit in your life by allowing you to experience cirmcumstances in which you're tempted to express the exact opposite quality. Character development always involves a choice, and temptation provides that opportunity. -Rick Warren

This certainly makes it easy to discern when I am being tempted.

Temptation always startes in your mind, no in circumstances. - Rick Warren

I find this interesting, because that means we may subconciously put ourselves in temptatious situations in order to blame the circumstances for our actions. But if it weren't a temptation in the first place, we wouldn't have been able to bait ourselves.

Temptation is a sign that Satan hates you, not a sign of weakness or worldliness. It is also a normal part of being a human and living in a fallen world. - Rick Warren

It is not a sin to be tempted. Jesus was tempted, yet he neer sinned. Temptation only becomes a sin when you gie in to it. -Rick Warren

Temptations keep us dependent on God. Just as the roots grow stronger when the wind blows against a tree, so every time you stand up to temptation you become more like Jesus. When you stumble-which you will-it is not fatal. Instead of giving in or giving up, look up to God, expect him to help you, and remember the reward that is waiting for you. -Rick Warren

I think that knowing that temptation is normal, and is not a sin is a very important concept. Everyone is tempted to do things that they shouldn't. When we give up and give in to temptation, that is when we are sinning.

Point to Ponder: Every temptation is an opportunity to do good.

Verse to Remember: James 1:12 God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Question to Consider: What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face?

I am often tempted and give in to being overly critical of others. I know that if I were to hold my tongue more often, I would develop patience, and then perhaps those that I was criticizing would be more apt to do what I had thought they should do without my pressing them. I just may be surprised.

Day 25

2005-05-19T13:23:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty Five: Transformed by Trouble

It is no coincidence that there has been such a delay in getting me to these next few chapters. I know that I have been purposely distracted.

Because God is sovereignly in control, accidents are just incidents in God's good plan for you. Because every day of your life was written on God's calendar before you were born, everything that happens to you has spiritual significance. Everything! -Rick Warren

Knowing this is such a relief. It means that no matter what happens, God has it all under control. Trusting in this allows freedom from fear. Even fear of death.

Since God intends to make you like Jesus, he will take you through the same experiences Jesus went through. That includes loneliness, temptation, stress, criticism, rejection, and many other problems. -Rick Warren

I actually never thought of it this way. I have felt that my problems were very personal, had my own label on them. But I realize that Jesus was put through the same trials, experienced the same feelings...who am I to complain?

If you are facing trouble right now, don't ask, "Why me?" Instead ask, "What do you want me to learn?" Then trust God and keep on doing what's right. -Rick Warren

I think that this is very sound advice, especially with the trials that I am currently facing. I know that I have been fairly diligent in not asking "why me"...there is no real answer to that. I am slowly learning the process of trust.

Point to Ponder: There is a purpose behind every problem.

Verse to Remember: Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Question to Consider: What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?

I would definitely have to say that my relationship with my mother has forced me to look at myself, and how I react to, and treat my own children. Even currently, my relationship with her affects me greatly, and I am still learning to be who I really am, not her perception of me.

Day 24

2005-05-11T21:39:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty Four: Transformed by Truth

The most important decision you can make today is to settle this issue of what will be the ulitmate authority for your life. Decide that regardless of culture, tradition, reason, or emotion, you choose the Bible as your final authority. -Rick Warren

This is interesting, because I had a conversation today with a friend regarding his skepticism that the Bible was all true. Meaning, that its translation had been tampered with throughout the years, and mainly by the Catholic church. One thing that I have learned is that there may be different versions, but these versions have been adaptions created for the time period that they would most apply, and for the language and reading style of the century that they are adapted for. I think that it is important to trust that the Bible is the authority, and is true, because once a person feels that any portion of it is untrue, they begin to undermine their own faith.

Any time you feel you are not learning anything from a sermon or a Bible teacher, you should check your attitude, especially for pride, because God can speak through even the most boring teacher when you are humble and receptive. -Rick Warren

I know that I have had the problem of 'drifting' during sermons...my mind fills with a list of 'to-dos' or 'what ifs' that undermine my ability to receive the message that is being presented. I have learned that this is Satan's way of distracting me in order for me to not learn.

I cannot overstate the value of being a part of a small Bible study discussion group. -Rick Warren

I have made contact with our church, and we are waiting to be placed in a group...I will be happy when we finally start attending.

Point to Ponder: The truth transforms me.

Verse to Remember: John 8:31-32 If you continue in my word, then you are my disciple indeed; an you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Question to Consider: What has God already told me in his Word that I haven't started doing yet?

I haven't established our church family yet. We have been slow in that process. Quite honestly, I feel that my husband puts a lot of other things before going to church, or being more involved with church. But that is between him and God. I guess I really have yet to concentrate on my children and be more involved. Or at least be more organized when it comes to them. Recently I had a conflict with my mom, she told me that she did not want to be a part of our lives any longer. I have displayed the largest amount of forgiveness for her than I have ever in my life. I actually forgive her, it isn't just something that I said.

Day 23

2005-05-05T07:11:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty Three: How We Grow

Your heavenly Father's goal is for you to mature and develop the characteristics of Jesus Christ. Sadly, millions of Christians grow older but never grow up. They are stuck in perpetual spiritual infancy, remaining in diapers and booties. The reason is that they never intended to grow. -Rick Warren

I think that this statement is really good...because it does describe many Christians...only have a glimmer of what it means to be Christlike and progressing no further than that. I know that for myself I am growing spiritually because I see things differently, I realize more, and I think more a long the lines of WWJD rather than what do I want to do. Following through is another matter.

Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you. Tell me what you are committed to, and I'll tell you what you will be in twenty years. We become whatever we are committed to. -Rick Warren

I try to think about what I am committed to, and it seems like such an oppressive idea. That is probably why I have flitted from one thing to another, never becoming really good at any one thing. Mediocrity.

Babies by nature are completely selfish. They think only of themselves and their own needs. They are incapable of giving; they can only receive. That is immature thinking. Unfortunately, many people never grow beyond that kind of thinking. The Bible says that selfish thinking is the source of sinful behavior. -Rick Warren

I think that overcoming the selfishness will be the hardest part. I live in a 'me' society...'what's in it for me'...'what about me'....etc. etc. And I am not faultless when it comes to thinking this way. I don't want to be selfish though...and my problem is that I get upset when I see other people being selfish. So, I don't want to be that way either.

Christianity is not a religion or a philosophy, but a relationship and a lifestyle. -Rick Warren

I would love to hear this more often. So many people refer to Christians as 'religious'...no, they are just Christians. And those that know that they are true Christians are not 'part time' Christians, it defines their whole being. It's a lifestyle...not just something to do on Sunday.

Point to Ponder: It is never too late to start growing.

Verse to Remember: Romans 12:2b Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God--what is good and is pleasing to him is perfect.

Question to Consider: What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way and start thinking God's way?

If I am going to mature spiritually...I will need to begin not going to THAT level when I get upset about things that happen in my life. I become frustrated too easily with unfairness and injustice--especially when it involves me. I need to realize more often that life is multi faceted. I believe that thinking God's way will help me to feel less like I am 'giving in' to everyone else around me and ignoring myself. If I think God's way, he loves me and I will not be left out.

Day 22

2005-05-04T12:19:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty-two: Created to Become Like Christ

The desire to be a god shows up evert time we try to control our circumstances, our future, and people around us. But as creatures we will never be the Creator. God doesn't want you to become a god; he wants you to become godly--taking on his values, attitudes and character. -Rick Warren

I think that this is important to remember because so often I find myself trying to control the situations around me, the people around me, everything...and I become so frustrated when things don't go 'my way'...this is me trying to be a god, which is an impossibility...so humbling myself and allowing myself to not be a god, actually releases me from the worry of trying so hard at something impossible.

Becoming like Christ does not mean losing your personality or becoming a mindless clone. God created your uniqueness, so he certainly doesn't want to destroy it. -Rick Warren

This is funny, because this is e.x.a.c.t.l.y. how I viewed Christianity...mindless clones. But knowing that isn't the goal is comforting. I can be myself, but better than who I was...my values are what God wants me to emulate from Christ.

Never forget that life is not about you! You exist for God's purposes, not vice versa. Why would God provide heaven on earth when he's planned the real thing for you in eternity? God gives us our time on earth to build and strengthen our character for heaven. -Rick Warren

This is another point many people have a problem with, myself included. I have [in the past] believed that being a Christian meant that things would come easier for me...nice car, nice home, nice family...etc...I know now that isn't the case. Christians suffer trials just as everyone else. The difference is in the knowing that there is a reason for those trials...they aren't just arbitrary or chaotic happenings...

Point to Ponder: I was created to become like Christ.

Verse to Remember: 2 Corinthians 3:18b As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more.

Question to Consider: In what area of my life do I need to ask for the Spirit's power to be like Christ today?

Very recently I was in a disagreement with someone close to me. They didn't like a decision I made to allow room for forgiveness for someone who had hurt our family. This person who had hurt our family is also an extended family member. I have not excluded this person from family functions, or anything like that. I have essentially decided to not hold a grudge, in hopes that someday they will see that their actions were hurtful not helpful. At any rate, the person I am close with became very upset that I had invited both her and this other person to the same function...and I think that it surprised her that I had been associating with this person.
I think that for me, I need to be more sensitive to other people's feelings in that I expect them to see things the same way that I do. They are all suppose to be Christians, but I think that their claim to Christianity is out of convenience...and I have not been understanding of that. I think that Christ would have seen the situation and been more sensitve to those he knew would be involved and hurt by this scenario.
I know I become frustrated when people don't see things 'my way'...even if I try to explain. I know that I see things differently, and I want others to have the same realizations...but it doesn't happen that way very often...

Day 21

2005-04-27T11:50:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty-One: Protecting Your Church

People become disillusioned with the church for many understandable reasons. The list could be quite long: conflict, hurt, hypocrisy, neglect, pettiness, legalism, and other sins. Rather than being shocked and surprised, we must remember that the church is mad eup o freal sinners, including ourselves. Because we're sinners, we hurt each other, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally. -Rick Warren

I am reminded of the very circumstances that led my husband and I to leave the church in which we were married at. It had been my husband's church all of his life...and a horrible division occured. This was due to the pastor's leadership...but I often wonder if our leaving was a good thing. I wrestle with this, and wonder if perhaps we would have made more of an impact if we had stayed in the face of adversity rather than leave.

Divorcing your church at the first sign of disappointment or disillusionment is a mark of immaturity. -Rick Warren

I agree with this completely. For many people of the church we had left it was an easy decision. They found that the church leadership wasn't what they had wanted, and in fact challenged their own lifestyle so they left without a second thought, even somewhat smug over the fact that so many people had left...that bothered me.

Listening to gossip is like accepting stolen property, and it makes you just as guilty as the crime. -Rick Warren

I know first hand how terribly damaging gossip is. I always cringe inside when I hear gossip being spread. It is ugly. I only wish that I had had the courage to stop some of the gossip that was being spread a few months ago. I have found through experience that people who gossip are generally untrustworthy, and it has caused great rifts in my relationships with others. I have not been able to bring myself to trust them as I had wanted to. This includes my relationship with my mother. I do not trust her with the things that go on in my life, because I know that it ends up on public display. I have other people in my life that I have grown distant from because of this as well...and it is a shame because I had hoped to have a close relationship with them, but I don't feel I can.

Point to Ponder: It is my responsibility to protect the unity of my church.

Verse to Remember: Romans 14:19 Let us concentrate on the things which make for harmony and the growth of our fellowship together.

Question to Consider: What am I personally doing to protect unity in my church family right now?

Good question...I feel sort of orphaned right now, not having a church family. We have been going to another church, but it is such a large church that we feel sort of "lost"...and "unneeded". I suppose that it will require some effort on our part to become involved and stay involved.

Day 20

2005-04-26T12:49:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twenty: Restoring Broken Fellowship

Because you were formed to be a part of God's family and the second purpose of your life on earth is to learn how to love an relate to others, peachemaking is one of hte most important skills you can develop. Unfortunately, most of us were never taught how to resolve conflict. -Rick Warren

Isn't that the truth? I still do not know how to resolve conflict...not really. I become too emotional about things. Here I am told I need to be a peacemaker...

Peacemaking is also not appeasement. Always giving in, acting like a doormat, and allowing others to always run over you is not what Jesus had in mind. He refused to back down on many issues, stnding his ground in the face of evil opposition. -Rick Warren

I am so glad that this is addressed, it discounts the belief that Christianity is synonymous with passivity. I sometimes feel that people expect Christians to "turn the other cheek", when in fact I have learned that Christians are called to be aggressive in the face of evil..."Live and let live is NOT a Christian decree".

We can reestablish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences. Christians often have legitimate, honest disagreements and differing opinions, but we can disagree without being disagreeable. -Rick Warren

This speaks volumes on maturity. Realizing that not everyone has to have the same opinion makes relationships much easier/ better. I know taht this is a point of contention within my own circle of friends, who have a very diverse range of opinions on various subjects. The ability to not agree and still reconcile is very important.

Point to Ponder: Relationships are always worth restoring.

Verse to Remember: Romans 12:18 Do everything on your part to live in peace with everybody.

Question to Consider: Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?

Gosh that should be an easy question...there are a few people who I have "lost" along the way. I think that the oldest relationship that needs restoring is the one with my mother. I don't remember the last time I spoke to her. I remember that before the New Year I asked if we could get together and "talk" because so many negative things occured between us during the wedding planning phase. She informed me that she didn't see how it would do any good. So, I haven't made any more attempts since then. Then there is my absentee friend Karen, who only touches base with me when something tumultuous is going on in her own life...then she disappears again. Then there is Scott G. who for all intents and purposes stopped being my friend because I am friends with someone he doesn't like...
Of the three, I am not sure which one God would want me to work on first...probably my mother. Something I need to pray about.

Day 19

2005-04-23T20:48:00.000-05:00

Chapter Nineteen: Cultivating Community

Pride Blocks God's grace in our lives, which we must have in order to grow, change, heal and help others. We receive God's grace by humbly admitting that we need it. The Bible says anytime we are prideful, we are living in opposition to God! That is a foolish and dangerous way to live. -Rick Warren

I know that for myself I [use to be] and can be very prideful. Not asking for God's help...thinking that I can do things on my own, figure things out. I find that the situation generally gets worse the harder I attempt to figure things out on my own without God.

Another part of courtesy is not downplaying another person's doubts. Just bewcause you don't fear something doesn't make it an invalid feeling. -Rick Warren

My relationship with my husband suffers for this very reason. Often we are not able to "see" or sympathize with each other's insecurities because we do not feel that way ourselves. This has become a problem on more than one occasion...and something that I need to work on.

Confidentiality does not mean keeping silent while your brother or sister sins. It means that what is shared in your group needs to stay in your group, and the group needs to deal with it, not gossip to others about it.

There is nothing worse in the world than sharing your deepest feelings or personal issues with someone only to learn later that what you had shared has become public knowledge. I have fallen prey to this scenario more times than I care to say...and it never fails to hurt. And only serves to make me trust less. I can quite honestly say that what is told to me, stays with me.

Point to Ponder: Community requires commitment.

Verse to Remember: 1 John 3:16 We understand what love is when we realize that Christ gave his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers.

Question to Consider: How can I help cultivate todaythe characteristics of real community in my small group and my church?

I feel like these chapters are jumping ahead faster than I can establish ideas from the previous chapter. I have yet to join a small group. It is something I will be exploring this Sunday when we go to church. I'll also be finding out if anyone of my friends would like to start a Bible Study group once a month. Once that is established, I will commit to the nine characteristics of biblical fellowship with them. I will commit to those characteristics with my husband, friends and family:
authenticity, mutuality, sympathy, mercy, honesty, humility, courtesy, confidentiality, and frequency.

Day 18

2005-04-22T14:40:00.000-05:00

Chapter Eighteen: Experiencing Life Together

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface level chit-chat. It is genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing. -Rick Warren

I can't even begin to express the depth of which I have yearned for this type of interaction with other people.

Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs: the need to be understood, and the need to have your feelings validated. Everytime you understand and affirm someone's feelings, you build fellowship. -Rick Warren

The word 'sympathy' in this text is used instead of 'empathy' as 'sympathy' is a biblical word. Regardless, it is important to me to know that this type of fellowship is what God wants me to experience with other believers.

Many people are reluctant to show mercy because they don't understand the difference between trust and forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior. Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Turst must be rebuilt over time. Turst requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. -Rick Warren

This is HUGE. For me, I am one of those who has misunderstood the trust/ forgiveness combination. Holding on to hurt, and not forgiving because I cannot trust the person who has hurt me. Knowing that trust and forgiveness do not go hand in hand...makes forgiving much easier. Knowing that I do not have to allow myself to trust someone right away, or that they have to prove their trustworthiness to me because of the fact that they hurt me...also knowing that I don't have to ALLOW myself to be hurt is another important thing to know.

Point to Ponder: I need others in my life.

Verse to Remember: Galatians 6:2 Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Question to Consider: What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine heart to heart level?

Well, considering our attendance at church has been rather sporadic...I will need to establish my committment to attending church. I already know that small study groups are offered, and I have been interested in attending one of those groups. However, I already know a believer who emails me a verse every day...and I haven't actually cultivated that friendship, though I have wanted to. If I think about it I have many options for connecting with other believers...

Day 17

2005-04-21T21:27:00.000-05:00

Chapter Seventeen: A Place to Belong

Only in regular contact with ordinary, imperfect believers can we learn real fellowship and experience the New Testament truth of being connected and dependent on each other. -Rick Warren

I think that this statement is important because it acknowledges the fact that believers are not perfect, and are in need of one another for support.

It may seem easier to be holy when no one else is around to frustrate your preferences, but that is a false untested holiness. Isolation breeds deceitfulness; it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships. -Rick Warren

This is so true. I am challenged all the time. Most of the people who I spend my time with are not believers, and so in being questioned all the time regarding my beliefs surprisingly strengthen my beliefs-because I have to research all the time to ensure that I am not leading myself or them astray. However, it would be nice to be among a group of people who were also believers so that I could learn from them as well.

Why is it important to join a local church family? Because it proves you are committed to your spiritual brothers and sisters in reality not just in theory. God wants you to love real people, not ideal people. You can spend a lifetime searching for the perfect chruch, but you will never find it. You are called to love imperfect sinners, just as God does. -Rick Warren

This statement strikes me deeply as recently my husband and I have stopped going to the church we were married in. We still wrestle with that decision...and perhaps it is time to revisit our reasoning...since we were essentially asking for perfection.

Point to Ponder: I am called to belong, not just believe.

Verse to Remember: Romans 12:5 In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Question to Consider: Does my level of involvement in my local church demonstrate that I love and am committed to God's family?

Not at all. I know that in this area, I need to be more diligent. Right now, since we have left our old church, we have not yet become members of the church we have been attending. Our involvement in the church is probably less than what it used to be, even though the reasons for us leaving is the distance in which our old church was located barring us from taking part in many of the activities. Closer doesn't necessitate more motivation in this regard. Something that I need to talk to my husband about.

Day 16

2005-04-20T11:27:00.000-05:00

Chapter Sixteen: What Matters Most

Life is about Love.

God wants you to be in regular, close fellowship with other believers so you can develop the skills of loving. Love cannot be learned in isolation. You have to b around people-irritiating, imperfect, frustrating people.-Rick Warren

Quite honestly, it isn't as easy as it seems...to love other believers . We all have our strengths and flaws. Sometimes it is much easier to love a non believer, because they will not hold you to any specific standard...or remind you that you should be doing the right thing, not what feels good at the time. I am learning that being born again, can also mean having to distance myself from those friendships, especially if they are not accepting of who I am becoming.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. -Rick Warren

I find it interesting that a person can not talk to another person for a long length of time...let the relationship go to the "back burner"...and then one day show up with a gift, as though an object can replace the friendship that suffered over lack of care and cultivation.

I have had my share of these types of relationships in my life...and honestly...I value the friendships and relationships in my life with the people who spend time with me-either in person, on email, or on the phone..., and who want to find out how me and my family are doing. Your time is more precious to me than anything. In this busy world...time is priceless.

Point to Ponder: Life is all about love.

Verse to Remember: Galatians 5:14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Question to Consider: Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?

On one hand they are first priority, but on the other hand I can become lazy. I spend a good deal of time keeping in touch with people, and trying to let them know that I care. Though, honestly, I have been wrapped up in my college coursework, so some of my relationships have gone to the wayside.

Other relationships, mainly my extended family...are on a very low priority. Not for lack of trying. Everyone claims that they are too busy to just call or send an email. Sometimes I get upset about that and reciprocate in the same manner...and then no one is talking.

I've been mulling over how to 'fix' that situation with my extended family. And also try to remember that my time here at home is not so that I can go to school, but so that I can be here with Kimi. I think that I really need to re evaluate my homework schedule for next semester so that I am giving my optimal time to my husband and my children.

Day 15

2005-04-18T08:22:00.000-05:00

Chapter Fifteen: Formed for God's Family

Every human being was created by God, but not everyone is a child of God. The only way that you get into God's family is by being born again into it. You became part of a the human family by your first birth, but you become a member of God's family by your second birth. -Rick Warren

What is interesting to me, is that prior to myself actually learning about God, and being born again I had an attitude of prejudice against those who claimed to be "born again". Most of that resentment came from ignorance...we fear what we do not know.

The rest came from the fact that in my upbringing Christians are regardeded with a certain degree of mistrust. The thought being that there aren't very many "true" Christians and those that my family has encountered 'seem' self righteous.

Albeit, there are many people who claim Christianity and who don't "act" like Christians. However, why is it that non Christians demand that Christians "act" a certain way, and do not hold themselves to the same standard? Being Christian doesn't mean that we are all of a sudden not human.

I find it interesting that the mistrust has guided my earthly family away from God rather than them seeking him in order to make a positive change.

Your spiritual family is even more important that your physical family because it will last forever. Our families on earth are wonderful gifts from God, but they are temporary and fragile, often broken by divorce, distance, growing old, and inevitabley death. On the other hand, our spiritual family--our relationship to other believers--will continue throughout eternity. It is a much stronger union, a more permanent bond, than blood relationships. -Rick Warren

Going back to what I had stated about my upbringing, I am not very close to my own family, however they were able to instill in me a general distrust of those who claim to be Christians. Therefore I am in a strange position. I want to meet other Christians who believe as I do, but I have this habit of being very critical and questioning of their Christian strengths. I am not saying that I am judging, I am saying that I am probably too observant. Wanting to find a crack in the armor. This of course ties into my own insecurities as a human being, and my desire to please God and habit of comparing myself to others.

In short, I haven't really made any practicing Christian friends. And the ones who I know are passionate about Christ usually annoy me for one reason or another. I still do not like to be preached at.

Point to Ponder: I was formed for God's family

Verse to Remember: Ephesians 1:5a His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us in to his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.

Question to Consider: How can I start treating othe believers like members of my own family?

This will be difficult for all of the reasons that I stated above. A major hang up because of my general distrust of the Christian population. It is a terrible thing to claim Christianity, and act opposite of what Jesus wants of us...especially hypocrisy. However, I suppose my distrust is hypocrisy in itself, and I do not like that at all...so I want to change this way of thinking.

Therefore, I will need to draw closer to other Christians instead of pushing them away. Perhaps I should focus on those who I already do know...and work on those relationships instead of keeping them at arms length.

Day 14

2005-04-15T12:16:00.000-05:00

Chapter Fourteen: When God Seems Distant

God is real, no matter how you feel. -Rick Warren

The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant. -Rick Warren

I have experienced what it is like to try and trust God during trials. These past few years since being saved have not been easy by any means. My home was flooded twice, the second time resulting in property loss and forcing an uplanned move, which was quite costly...especially in the midst of trying to plan our wedding. Planning our wedding was met with multiple upon multiple obstacles, disappointments, conflicts, and heartaches. I don't think that I have ever experienced that level of stress in all my life...and would not want to ever again.

Much of the problem was I was not trusting that God would take care of everything...and eventually, when I could not actually take it any more, and realized this fact...I gave in...surrendered it all to God. And the result was that we had our wedding and honeymoon. The one that we wanted...and aside from a few very minor glitches, it was exactly as we had hoped it would be. I just had to remember that God is with me all the time...

During times of spiritual dryness you must patiently rely on the promises of God, not your emotions, and realize that he is taking you to a deeper level of maturity. A friendship based on emotion is shallow indeed. -Rick Warren

I don't want a friendship with God that depends soley on how happy he makes me, and that he is just giving me what I want all the time. I realize that a true relationship will entail light and dark times.

If I only wanted his friendship when he makes me happy, it would resemble many of the friendships that I have had in my past with other people. They are only around when they need me, and then disappear.

How horrible a feeling that is. It makes me feel pretty unimportant. I can see why God would cause us to feel distant from him, to see that we continue reaching for him instead of replacing him with this fancy or that. Friendship, true friendship, isn't all about joy...it is about endurance.

Point to Ponder: God is real, no matter how I feel.

Verse to Remember: Hebrews 13:5 For God has said, "I will never leave you; I will never abandon you."

Question to Consider: How can I stay focused on God's presence, especially when he feels distant?

I think that this basically requires a person to remain faithful, and understanding of the fact that God's love doesn't disappear when the lights go out...he is always with me. And the fact that I experience hardship is a testament to the truth that there is a place in Heaven for me. If things were perfect here on earth, there would be no reason to strive to get closer to God.

How can I stay focused? Pray...talk to God, even when it seems that he isn't listening...not giving up on faith, but surrendering the situation to him, and his will.

Day 13

2005-04-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

Chapter Thirteen: Worship That Pleases God

God wants all of you. -Rick Warren

There is no "one-size-fits-all" approach to worship and friendship with God. One thing is certain: You don't bring glory to God by tring to be someone he never intended you to be. God wants you to be yourself. -Rick Warren

This is wonderful news! To have this level of acceptance by someone who knows me better than myself...someone who knows all of my flaws, created all of me specifically to be who I am...wants me to be just that.

When you praise God even when you don't feel like it, when you get out of bed to worship when you're tired, or when you help others when you are worn out, you are offerning a sacrifice of worship to God. That pleases God. -Rick Warren

I can really see now the idea of "living sacrifice" by the above description. I have fallen into a rut numerous times regarding going to church on Sunday, and even then...going to church on Sunday and not applying what I had "learned" on Monday morning. God hates a hypocrit...and a liar. I need to watch for those things in my own actions.

Point to Ponder: God wants all of me.

Verse to Remember: Mark 12:30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Question to Consider: Which is more pleasing to God right now--my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

I need to work on both...I know that God wants to have a personal relationship with me...and that is private [to me anyway]...however I also think that they should be tandem with each other, meaning...I should not be afraid to worship publicly. By thier actions you shall know them...

If I am loving God with all of my heart soul and strength I will be worshiping him publicly and privately. Though right now...I am developing that personal relationship with him and that is important to me...

I think that my public worship may be more pleasing...because it is showing that I am not afraid to worship him, and I am not tied to this world so much that I am held back by fear of what others think of me.

Day 12

2005-04-13T10:44:00.000-05:00

Chapter Twelve: Developing Your Friendship with God

You are as close to God as you choose to be. -Rick Warren

This chapter was good to read because I often find myself questioning many things about my faith, about what God does and why. This chapter explains that God doesn't need us to be perfect just honest...even if that honesty includes doubt.

To be God's friend, you must be honest to God, sharing your true feeling, not what you think you ought to feel or say. -Rick Warren

This actually lifts a great weight off of my shoulders. I sometimes try too hard to say the right thing, or express myself in certain ways that I think God would prefer...when in fact he would just prefer my honest bumbling than some eloquent speech.

Point to Ponder: I'm as close to God as I choose to be.

Verse to Remember: James 4:8a Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.

Question to Consider: What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?

I have already decided to change the way that I pray and talk to God. I have been reminding myself to talk to God throughout the day...just as if he were my own personal confidant, because He is.

The other thing is to just say what I need to say, without reservation...because he already knows me, it makes no sense to try and say something that I don't really feel.

Lastly, I want to begin treating my family as gifts from God...I have been pondering a lot on the fact that God will not bless me with anything more important if I cannot take care of what I already have...I want to be motivated in taking care of my family so that I am not hindering them and myself from being closer to God.

Day 11

2005-04-10T22:30:00.000-05:00

Chapter Eleven: Becoming Best Friends with God

In Eden we see God's ideal relationship with us: Adam and Eve enjoyed and intimate friendship with God. There were no rituals, ceremonies or religion--just a simple loving relationship between God and the people he created. Unhindered by guilt and fear. -Rick Warren

The profound thing about this statement is that God wants the same relationship with me...

You will never grow a close relationship with God by just attending church once a week or even having a daily quiet time. Friendship with God is built by sharing all of your life experiences with him. -Rick Warren

I am guilty of sequestering God to one time a day, or even one day a week. I think that many "so-called" Christians do this, thinking that is all that is required of them. I am learning that God can be a part of everything that I do. He is always with me.

The key to frienship with God, is not changing what you do, but changing your attitude toward what you do. -Brother Lawrence

In Eden, worship was not an event to attend, but a perpetual attitude; Adam and Eve were in constant communion with God. Because God is with you all the time, no place is any closer to God than the place where you are right now. -Rick Warren

Constant communion with God...it is recommended that we pray all the time, and thankfully this chapter gives suggestions on how to do this...I have found that my prayers are lengthy and complex...to the point I even confuse myself by being too formal. Keeping it simple and keeping it constant seems much easier. It's funny, sometimes I catch myself talking to myself...replaying certain conversations...it shouldn't be too hard to transition myself into talking to God instead.

When you think about a problem over and over in your mind, that's called worry. When you think about God's Word over and over in your mind, that's meditation. -Rick Warren

Again, I am an expert at the art of worrying...to the point I create scenarios to worry about. I am sure that meditation is probably much healthier. I have to switch my attention from worry to Bible verses instead...however, I HAVE done this from time to time...there is a Bible verse that I repeat to myself quite often and repeatedly...

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you...Ephesians 4:32

I've been "meditating" that since I was eight years old.

Point to Ponder: God wants to be my best friend

Verse to Remeber: Psalm 25:14a Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him.

Question to Ponder: What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to him more often throughout the day?

Right now I keep a calendar in my purse that has Bible verses in it...I also have a small Bible in my car. I wear a small silver cross on a necklace. These all help to remind me to thank God throughout the day. Although, I do fall into "forgetting" about him when things are going awry.
I'd like to start knowing my Bible verses better, so I should make notecards and keep them handy. I also try to remember to listen to the Christian radio station during the day...to keep my thoughts focused on God.

Day 10

2005-04-07T22:27:00.000-05:00

Chapter Ten: The Heart of Worship

The heart of worship is surrender. -Rick Warren

Surrendering to God is not pasive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness. It is not accepting the status quo. It may mean the exact opposite: sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed. -Rick Warren

I know that I struggle with the concept of surrender. On one hand I had viewed it as an act of laziness, when people just shrug and say, "it's in God's hands"...well sure it is...but do you really think God just wants you to sit there?

On the other hand...the concept of obeying and submitting to anything seems like such a passive thing to do...but it really isn't. It is just faith that God will lead your life in the direction he wants.

Everybody eventually surrenders to something or someone. If not to God, you will surrender to the opinions or expectations of others, to money, to resentment, to fear, or to your own pride, lusts or your ego. You were designed to worship God--and if you fail to worship him, you will create other things (idols) to give your life to. You are free to choose what you surrender to, but you are not free from the consequences of that choice. -Rick Warren

I see this so much today with the way people idolize actors or actresses, or are fanatics about collecting a particular thing...or how wrapped up people get into their music or computer games. I think that this is what he is referring to...all of these examples distract us from God. I am not saying that these should be cast away, but if they take your focus from God...then perhaps they aren't all that great.

However, I learned recently that someone I know has given up television and video games in the name of God...I don't think that this is correct either. Especially when there are so many more important things that God would like a person to amend in their life...such as building relationships with family members and forgiving ...it seems that television and video games in light of these other things is very miniscule.

Point to Ponder: The heart of worship is surrender.

Verse to Remember: Romans 6:13b Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purpose.

Question to Consider: What area of my life am I holding back from God?

Most definitely at least 2 areas. For one my extremely dysfunctional relationship with my mom. I certainly cannot fix that one on my own...however I am holding God back from fixing it for me as well...probably because I am comfortable where I am right now...which in some ways is a self righteous edge.

Another area is what I should be doing right now financially. I still go back and forth on what is right for my family...on whether I should go back to work or not. I am not actively looking for work, but opportunities arise, and I wonder should I go for them or not...perhaps I think too much.

Day 9

2005-04-06T09:02:00.000-05:00

Chapter Nine: What Makes God Smile?

This chapter actually struck a deep chord within me. I ended the chapter with tears in my eyes. I feel that I am starting to understand more about my life in relation to the text. I know that this book will affect everyone differently as they have different experiences.

The smile of God is the goal of your life. -Rick Warren

How do I make God smile??

Love him supremely

Most of all, God wants a relationship with me

Trust him completely

Having faith that he knows what is best for my life

Obey him wholeheartedly

Obedience unlocks understanding

Praise and thank him continually

When we give God enjoyment our own hearts are filled with joy

Use our abilities

You don't bring glory or pleasure to God by hiding your abilities or by trying to be someone else. You only bring him enjoyment by being you. Anytime you reject any part of yourself you are rejecting God's wisdom and sovereignty in creating you. -Rick Warren

He loves you as if you were the only person on earth.- Rick Warren

Point to Ponder: God smiles when I trust him.

Verse to Remember: Psalm 147:11 The Lord is pleased wiht those who worship him and trust his love.

Question to Consider: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust him the most?

First, I have to trust him in all areas of my life. The hardest areas for me would be accepting my perceived failings. I cannot do many of the things that I would like to do, for lack of talent. My life will go by fairly insignificantly to the worlds standards. So maybe I need to trust that the abilities I do have are ones that are pleasing to God, and not worry about the rest of the world.

Day 8

2005-04-05T13:25:00.000-05:00

Chapter Eight: Planned for God's Pleasure

Bringing enjoyment to God, living for his pleasure, is the first purpose of your life. When you fully understand this truth, you will never again have a problem with feeling insignificant. -Rick Warren

Admittedly, I have had a problem feeling this way all my life-insignificant. This, again, is probably because I have been seeking approval from people rather than worshiping God.

Worship is far more than music. -Rick Warren

This is a pretty significant statement to me. I, being someone who can't sing, have often felt very useless when it came to that part of our church service. With the realization that worship is not just singing, but everything that I do I know that I can glorify God in ways that I am capable instead of trying to be someone I am not.

Point to Ponder: I was planned for God's pleasure.

Verse to Remember: Psalm 149:4a The Lord takes pleasure in his people.

Question to Consider: What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?

I do a lot of common tasks...

I could clean my house as though Jesus were going to visit.

I could pay my bills as though I am taking care of these debts for Jesus.

I could potty train my daughter as though Jesus had asked it of me.

I could cook dinner as though Jesus were coming to dine with us...

I think that the big one lately would be to do my homework as though Jesus charged me with the task, as I have been slacking and unmotivated these past few weeks.

So many things...

Day 7

2005-04-04T10:18:00.000-05:00

Chapter Seven: The Reason for Everything

This chapter was a little more difficult to "get" because it is a question that I pose often in my own faith. Sometimes I become worried that the task of glorifying God is much too great for me. It seems daunting, but the following points of this chapter helped me to figure some things out.

The ultimate goal of the universe is to show the glory of God
God's glory is hte expression of his goodness and all his other intrinsic, eternal qualities
Everything created by God reflects his glory in some way
Gods glory is best seen in Jesus Christ

Then comes the question how do I bring Glory to God???

By...

worshipping him-we worship by enjoying him
loving other believers-loving the family of God
becoming like Christ-accepting Christ and changing your character
serving others with our talents, gifts, skills and abilities-not for selfish reasons
telling others about him-his love and purpose is not to be kept secret

It will mean choosing a difficlut path instead of an easy one... -Rick Warren

Point to Ponder: It's all for him.

Verse to Remember: Romans 11:36 For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power, and everything is for his glory.

Question to Consider: Where in my daily routine can I become more aware of God's glory?

I suppose the drudgery of cleaning up after everyone all the time could use a boost. Sincerely, I get really upset when I feel that I am being taken advantage of because I am doing all the housework which leads me to working late into the evening when everyone else is sitting down to relax. I also makes me feel like I am less of an intelligent or worthwhile human being.

As a Christian, I am well aware of my responsibility in the structure of my marriage--but sometimes I get resentful about that role--especially when friends [who are not Christian] make flippant comments about the fact that I cook and clean for my family. It feels demeaning. However, that is because society has put that negative spin on being a homemaker. Society. Not God.

Perhaps I need to glorify him by enjoying what I do...and make him the reason why I am at home taking care of my family.

Day 6

2005-04-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

Chapter Six: Life is a Temporary Assignment

This was another very good chapter, and answers the question of why bad things happen to good people--even faithful Christians....

The fact that earth is not our ultimate home explains why, as followers of Jesus, we experience difficulty, sorrow, and rejection in this world. It also explains why some of God's promises seem unfulfilled, some prayers unanswered, and some circumstances unfair. This is not the end of the story.
In order to keep us from becoming too attached to earth, God allows us to feel a significant amount of discontent and dissatisfaction in life--longing that will never be fulfilled on this side of eternity. We're not completely happy here because we're not suppose to be! Earth is not our final home; we were created for something much better. -Rick Warren

For me, the above two paragraphs really hit home as to why everything seems to be such a trial. Because it IS a trial...a test...and I am suppose to suffer those trials because I am being prepared for something much better. It makes much more sense than everything being random and I have difficult times because that is just what chance afforded me as a human being. Or worse, I have difficult times because I just don't DO enough to turn it around.

When life gets tough, when you're overwhelmed with doubt, or when you wonder if living for Christ is worth the effort, remember that you are not home yet. At death you won't leave home--you'll go home. -Rick Warren

For me, the above statement is pretty profound. Especially since I have asked myself the question many times over--when will I have a home?
I've never been "at home" anywhere or any time in my life. Always a feeling of displacement. I had always attributed that to my personality...and lack of being able to "get close" to others no matter how hard I try. Perhaps I was looking at it all wrong.

Point to Ponder: The world is not my home.

Verse to Remember: 2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Question to Consider: How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living right now?

I could definitely benefit from not worrying so much about pleasing others, or having material possessions. It seems like I have wasted a lot of my life trying to gain the approval from the wrong individuals.

I should also be free of worry. Since this is all temporary, and it will eventually end and I will travel on to a much better place...I don't have the pressure to get it all done, to do it all, see it all...etc. God has put me here in this place for a reason, and I can just let that happen--whatever it may be.

Day 5

2005-04-01T13:10:00.000-05:00

Chapter Five: Seeing Life from God's View

This chapter was pretty amazing for me. I really had to think about some things, and evaluate how I see my own life. The statements that have inspired me from this chapter are:

When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in life. Even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God. -Rick Warren

No pressure right? Actually, it isn't any more pressure than before...in fact, what I find in my faith is that the fact that there IS God there is less pressure to do everything myself and make it all work. Knowing that everything is a test, and everything has significance kind of takes away the chore of needing to find something meaningful in life...

Most people fail to realize taht money is both a test and a trust from God. God uses finances to teach us to trust him, and for many people, money is the greatest test of all. God watches how we use money to test how trustworthy we are.

I know that this is a huge test for me. I am not good with finances at all. I desire to be, for whatever reason I fail all the time.

Point to Ponder: Life is a test and a trust.

Verse to Remember: Luke 16:10a Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones.

Question to Consider: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?

Very recently my family and I went through a winter with very little money to sustain ourselves. We are now trying to recover from this situation. My husband did not have gainful employment for over a year and a half...I was the main financial support for the family. Then I lost my job as well, so we had even less. It made us appreciate when we could afford to buy food, and it made us have to reach out to others for help.
It also put us in the position where we finally said we have to continue to pray, and rely on God. God pulled us through a particularly difficult wedding planning...again with very limited finances...but we did it.
This past year has been a series of tests to our relationship. Caleb now has a new job, and though I am still not working, we are trusting God that I should be home with the children--and it is another test--because I had become independant as a single mom. Now I will be relying on my husband.

The greatest matters God has entrusted me with? My husband and children. I was married before, and it went terribly wrong in so many ways. I am not blameless. I feel that this is a second chance to do things the way God intended.

Day 4

2005-03-31T09:14:00.000-05:00

Chapter Four: Made to Last Forever

The most profound statements in this chapter are:

When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently. You will start living in light of eternity, and that will color how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance...when you live in light of eternity your values change. -Rick Warren

I can see how different I am now that I have accepted Christ as my savior. My behaviors are different, and I am not the "same person" that I was 5 years ago. I have made new friends who are Christ-centered, and some of my older friends are starting to fade away because I have different values than they do now. This is just from being born again. And as my journey continues I find that the closer I become to God, the farther away I am to my earthly ties.

For us this is the end of all the stories...But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All thier life in this world...had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever and in which every chapter is better than the one before. -C.S. Lewis

I love this because it depicts a great adventure yet to come. Caleb and I always say that we want to go on an adventure together...the thought that eternity is an adventure yet to come gives me a sense of anticipation rather than dread. When I watched The Return of the King, I recognized Gandulf's reference to heaven when he was speaking to Pippin as the Orcs were destroying Dol Amroth. Tolkein and Lewis were good friends. I enjoy the references of God, Jesus, and heaven that they make in their literature.

Point to Ponder: There is more to live than just here and now.

Verse to Remember: 1 John 2:17 This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever.

Question to Consider: Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing that I should start doing today?

This is worse than a New Year's resolution...

The one thing that I should stop doing is worrying.

The one thing that I should start doing is being more confident.

Day 3

2005-03-30T10:41:00.000-05:00

Chapter Three: What drives your life?

There are actually a few things in this chapter that struck me as interesting:

1. Without a clear purpose you have no foundation on which you base decisions, allocate your time, and use your resources. You will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures, and your mood at the moment. People who don't know their purpose try to do too much--and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict. -Rick Warren

I can totall relate to what he is saying. I often find myself scrambing around trying to keep up with myself because I have taken on too much.

2. This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. - George Bernard

I just liked this statement because I get frustrated with people who complain and don't DO something...as though they are waiting for someone to hand them a solution. I dont' want to be one of those people.

Point to Ponder: Living on purpose is the path to peace.

Verse to Remeber: Isaiah 26:3 You, Lord give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.

Question to Consider: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?

That's a hard question. I am not sure what my friends and family would say is the driving force of my life. Perhaps it is apparent that I want to make sure that my children do not have the same type of childhood that I had, and that they have a good relationship with me for the rest of their lives. I also want to be able to care for them the way that they deserve. I'm not sure what else would be my driving force.

What do I want it to be? I think that making sure that my children have a good childhood and are relatively happy and secure are good goals, but I am not sure if that is a driving force. Perhaps on a grander scale I would like to make a difference in the lives of many children (not just my own). Or maybe just be kind and be a person others trust. But again, that is a goal...not a driving force.

I guess I don't really know--except maybe security.

Day 2

2005-03-29T10:10:00.000-05:00

Chapter Two: You Are Not an Accident

The one thought that really strikes me in this chapter is as follows:

If there was no God, we would all be "accidents," the result of astronomical random chance in the universe. You could stop reading this book, beause life would have no purpose or meaning or significance. There would be no right or wrong, and no hope beyond your brief years here on earth. -Rick Warren

Pretty amazing to think that God has a plan, created everything for a reason. It is actually quite comforting.

Point to Ponder: I am not an accident.

Verse to Remember: Isaiah 44:2 "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born."

Question to Consider: I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?

My childhood-living with a mother who didn't protect me from my stepfathers cruelty, and assault/the family who remained blind to it all (and still will not acknowledge it happened)
I don't know who my paternal father is
The feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, worthlessness-and the destructive behaviors that go hand in hand with those feelings (procrastination, laziness, overly critical of others, unhealthy relationships)
How demanding I can be in my relationships now when it comes to trust
How all of my personality problems affect my children
My raging insecurity over everything because of the above mentioned points

I realize that God created the world, and the universe. I realize that everything happens for a reason according to God's plan. And here, I am being told that plan includes me as well. Iguess that erases the whole idea that I was an accident...and really my parents part in the whole deal was very minimal. Perhaps I have been placing too much significance on my earthly parents. They are in no more control than I am. Does it excuse their behavior? No...everyone is accountable for the choices that they make. But it is nice to hear for once that I am NOT a mistake--because God doesn't make mistakes.

Day 1

2005-03-28T10:46:00.000-05:00

Chapter One: It all starts with God.

The one sentence that really strikes me in this chapter is as follows:

"You didn't create yourself so there is no way you can tell yourself what you were created for!" -Rick Warren

How simple is that?

Point to Ponder: It's not about me.

Verse to Remember: Colossians 1:16b "Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him."

Question to Consider: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?

Pray for wisdom
Focus on Jesus
Remember that satan uses deception and tries to distract from God

What is my purpose in life? I already know my job description: wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I actually don't feel any great pressure to find out my "purpose" per se, but I do find it interesting that in 40 days I can find out what my purpose is, according to God's plan. Right now I am rather wrapped up in what I should be doing to help my family survive financially. Maybe my "purpose" is somehow entwined with that. Only God knows.